Biggest Liar contest giveaway - 1 million dollar prize! a new car! (none of those)

I still remember the day I opened the package, the key charm practically shinning through... Alas, there is was in all its beauty, I immediately attached it to my favorite set of keys. I didn't know it then but this was an extraordinary moment..

Later that day I had some errands to run, so I grabbed the keys and off I went.. It seemed everywhere I went women were blowing there horns and making some pretty crazy gestures to say the least.. I had thought maybe something was wrong with my truck, a flat tire, wheel falling off or something.. While at a red light, horns blazing from every corner and traffic backed up in every direction, women started pouring out of their cars.. I rolled down my window to hear what was being said as they headed in my direction, to my amazement they were all telling me they loved me, where had I been their whole life, they desperately needed me and couldn't live without me... as they piled around my truck one just begged to touch it, so I pulled the keys out of the ignition and let them all fondle it for just a minute...

talk about a chick magnet.... the down side of the key chain thingamabob is Tracy hadn't produced these fine specimens while I was in high school...
 
The other night the television news was all abuzz about president Obama's open mike gaff. I was fortunate enough to have captured the entire episode on my dvr. Later when played back using my super sophisticated electronic stuff I was able to make out the exact comments that were made:

President Obama: “On all these gizmos, but particularly the KD thingamabob, this, this can be done but it’s important for him to give me space.”

President Medvedev: “Yeah, I understand. I understand your message about space. Space for you…”

President Obama: “This is my last election. After my election I have more flexibility to buy Vladmir one too.”

President Medvedev: “I understand. I will transmit this information to Vladimir.”
 
Biggest liar,
Hmmmmm, Oh I know,
Murph is a tree huggin, longhaired hippy, comy type:shush:

There that alt to do it:biggrin:

Todd
 
If I had a KD key fob I could make knives 2X faster twice as good and sell them for twice as much. Dan
 
I bought 20 of the KD key fobs and immediately ground them up to dust. I mixed in some diamond polishing dust and then mixed the whole mess together for some canister damascus. I don't know what kind of magic metal Tracy put in these fobs but now I have this really cool blade that sharpens itself! Of course I tried to take pictures for y'all but, now for the really great part, IT'S INVISIBLE. I'm gonna put glow-in-the dark powder in the next batch so I can find it in the dark.
 
I need one to open all the beers I'm forced to drink in order to drown my sorrows when I see all of the cool stuff in Boss's store that my wife won't let me buy....

oh wait... we are supposed to lie?.... ;)
 
Assuming the fuel gauge on my truck was broke I pulled into the gas station to fill up, insert the nozzle, swiped the card and started pumping.. The pump climbed to .18cents and shut off... WHAT!! I pull out the handle and there I see foaming diesel, now this can't be right?? I've been driving on this tank a gas for well over 400miles...

With all the strange things that have been happening I'll chalk another one up to the "Knife Dawg Thingamabob !!!"
 
Lagrange said:
There really is only one way to skin a cat. My dog took pictures.
Click to expand...

I saw your dog take those pictures , of course you could not see me because the alien communicator, disguised as a keychain as I referenced in my earlier lie ..Er I mean news story , makes me invisible......
 
So AMAZED by the thing-a-ma-bob I secretly slipped one on my wife's keys

It appears to have cured her obsesive compulsive house cleaning disorder. Not sure why but she commanded me to trash all household items in the "shop" and convert the guest room into a clean room for my knifemaking endeavors ! :les:

Bet I'll be getting an Artisan Toro 3000, a hydraulic press, and a Red Ryder 200 shot Range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time for my birthday this year !!!!! :p

:1971_dancing_dog:


-Josh
 
You didn't hear it from me, but........

Word around Sweden is that Tracy is seriously being considered for the Nobel Peace Prize for the prosperity the KD 'thingamabob' has brought not only to him, but to all humanity itself. Tracy's contribution to humanity is far and above....the greatest contribution to human kind to date. Who knew !!!!!?

Remember, you didn't hear it from me.

Rudy
 
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(Just reread the OP, Janik's Guide To Manliness threw me.)

As long as you own one of these bottle openers you'll never run out of friends or beer!
 
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