On The Road To 2000.........With a giveaway

I'm in again. What's funny or interesting about a 63 yr old disabled fart who hides in his shop all day making knives and other fun junk?

Larry
 
Everytime Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory comes on, I have to spot and watch. And yes, I sing along to the songs too! My wife took my" man card" because of it!

UncleBilly
 
On Wednesday, during a lightning storm, I was using the bathroom. In mid stream, the power goes out. Stayed out for 5 minutes too! Surprisingly, there was no mess, but I had to use my cell phone to find my way to the door. And to top it off, it was in the basement, with no windows for ANY source of a faint light nearby.
 
In again for Sunday.
My daughter and her mom have moved here to North Van from Edmonton.
The other night my kid wants me to meet a couple of her guy friends...
So,I go down,and meet 'em for coffee.
She makes the intro,and one kid says "your name is Wolf?!?"
Being that one of a Dad's jobs is to embarrass his kid,
I tell him,"No,I am a 'wolf'...you know how a hot 40-something woman who hunts 18 year-olds is called a 'cougar'?
Well,I'm the male version: a 'wolf'!"...
She looks at me in utter disbelief and horror,turns bright red and stutters something under her breath
while her buddies are crackin' up.
Job done!
:)
 
Mike Jones said:
On Wednesday, during a lightning storm, I was using the bathroom. In mid stream, the power goes out. Stayed out for 5 minutes too! Surprisingly, there was no mess, but I had to use my cell phone to find my way to the door. And to top it off, it was in the basement, with no windows for ANY source of a faint light nearby.
Click to expand...

I guess you have a real steady hand from keeping your grind angles.
 
Starting Monday off with my fingers crossed...
I've decided that I want to enroll in a local Aikido dojo here in North Van
with my lil' girl:
and when the boys come a'calling,
I can stand on the porch to greet 'em not with a shotgun,
but a mop and bucket...
and tell 'em "this?"
"it's so I can clean up the mess she'll make of you if ya'll try anything funny!"
:)
 
In for Monday.

I pretend to be a handyman, so after watching a TV show I decided to replace my own toilet. I followed all of the steps carefully and was pretty proud of myself, until I realized I forgot the step about removing the rag blocking the pipe. Good thing Home Depot is open late.
 
I'm in please! Something funny... hmmm...

Well, one time I saw this gorgeous young lady at a local watering hole. As suave as I could, I strolled up to her and asked, "Hey baby, what's your sign?"

She said, "STOP!"

:(
 
In for Monday.
After a mis-spent life on the recieving side of a bar, the only funny things I can remember are things I can't mention here.

Rudy
 
I'm in my daughter is 6 and your knives are some of here favorites more than dads funny well people say i hop when i walk i know thats all i got
 
Count me in Ern, I just ordered an old fashioned double edge razor and will be trying classic shaving. Should I win and you not hear from me chances are I didn't survive my first shave.
 
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