Keith, Don't try to take on the burden of thinking it was somehow your fault. Things happen for a reason, we do not always know why and may never know.
In 2009, I lost my business of 23 years, my heart was broken as I had around 15 employees with families. I no sooner started staying home and my wife developed some health problems. I was and even now am able to stay with her and meet her needs. Just today, we got the diagnoses of cancer. We are dealing with it. But, if I had not lost my business, I would never had the time to take care of my wife. Losing my business turned out to bring my wife and I together more than we had been in years.
Take care my friend,
Jim