Embarrassing to ask but...

Black cat

Well-Known Member
I'm 37... And other than a brief (strange) relationship i've been single my whole life.
I spend all the time with the dream of meeting someone on my mind but it seems like the most impossible thing.
Dont know what i'm doing wrong...
I really dont want to be single the rest of my life.
Just never really learned the skills to meet women.

I can talk to them just fine, and make friends with them but thats about as far as it ever goes.

Is there some guy secret to this that I just never found out about?

I was away that day? LoL

:p
 
Not that I'm a dating expert or anything, but I have been happily married for 22 years to an amazing woman. The advice that I have given to friends and family who are struggling to find that significant other is to work on yourself. Focus on overcoming the flaws in your character and strengthening your good attributes. Work on becoming the kind of person that you want to find and work on developing those characteristics in yourself that you want in a future spouse. Also, go to the places that someone that you want to attract would be. For example, if you want to find a God-fearing christen woman, you'll do better at the church picnic than you will hanging out at the tattoo parlor. Bottom line, be the kind person that your dream girl would be attracted to and you'll find each other.
 
Look, time is on your side. When you get close to 40, you aren't competing against the star football player anymore. Gainfully employed, honest, and a sense of humor will take you very far. Throw in a little charm and good hygeine and you're a solid 9. You don't need washboard abs. She's close to 40 - she'll appreciate if you don't expect her to have them, either.

Like Brandant said, be the person you want to find. Then, follow Willie Nelson's advice. Someone asked him how to become a recording star. Willie's advice was, "If you want to be a professional musician, you need to be where there is a music scene. Nobody's going to come find YOU in your home town. It doesn't work that way." This applies to women just as well. A chance encounter at the grocery store isn't going to yield results. Where would your dream girl be spending her time? Well... what are you waiting for? Go there. We're about the same age, I'm 43. Church is the best place. Women who are putting things back together after striking out with a long line of losers finally realize that they should also stop looking for love in the wrong places. Church is where it's at. But at our age, you have to accept that she's probably going to have kids and some baggage. That's okay. The first part of being accepted is to accept that nobody else is perfect, either. Life throws us all curve balls. Be about tomorrow, not yesterday.

And finally, take my advice because it's free and worth absolutely what you pay for it. All women are some flavor of crazy. Stop fighting that reality. You have to determine which flavor of crazy you can put up with the best and go for it.

April will be 20 years for me, and we dated for 5 years before that. I've spent some part of every one of those 20 years gritting my teeth here and there, but that's the price to pay to cohabitate with any other human being, whether it's your wife, your buddy, or your uncle Fred.
 
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My anniversary was this past weekend, 17 years. I met my wife online! I know that sounds crazy, but back at the end of the 90's there was this new thing, online dating. I'm kind of a homebody, had outgrown the bar scene and was kind of in the same place as you. I signed up on one of the dating sites and talked online to probably 20 girls within a year or so. Went as far as talking to a few on the phone, and went on "real" dates with probably 6 or 7. There were some crazies, some needy types, some looking for a babydaddy, some dishonest, some looking for a sugar daddy, etc. Some were ok but we just didn't hit it off for one reason or another. But, when I met my wife for the first time at a Friday's restaurant for dinner, I knew I had found the one within the first 15 minutes. You have to be careful and don't rush into anything, but it might be worth a try. Worked for me.
 
I think online dating is the best thing since sliced bread. I know a number of couples who met that way.
 
I think those are all great ideas and good advice! Up till now I was living in the middle of nowhere. I only moved to a place that has other people last week. I have tried/trying dating sites online but idk if i'm doing that wrong or what... I just never seem to get replies or messages.

Ive already started going out places and practicing meeting people (awkward lol) and i'm looking into a few places to meet people around here.

I guess it really is about numbers for the most part. I think that i'm a big bald biker looking guy seems to scare people off. Oddly some have even said "your not effeminate enough" lol huh? o_O
 
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