Am getting frazzled and feeling overwhelmed. Needing to vent and get a little feedbac

wall e

Well-Known Member
I am having a adult add moment and also getting overloaded with friends and family saying "I want a knife please". Its been in the upper 90s and to add to my overload feeling I got bit by a friend of my dads dog, which put me off work for 10 days. And for a bit more fun my 16yr old daughter moved back in with me and needs to get her head on straight.
Im mainly just trying to get some words of wisdom from those who have been through this stage and climbed out of the hole they feel they were in.
I have tried to get my zen zone back and be able to finish my last known steel knife. It seems that the world falls apart in my house, as soon as the grinder runs for 5 min and my grinds are going good.
Life and family are happening I know I will survive this and can climb out of this hole I see myself in.
My other issue is I made the mistake of finding a "few pieces of wood" to have a variety of handle materials.
Wanting to be fully self sufficient am going to try stabilizing some of the pieces I have now. There is now approxamately 70lbs of wood in my collection. The biggest issue is every cautious persons fear, screwing up something important. I bought a 8lb slab of lychee and because the seller lost the slab in their inventory they sent me a 9lb slab and two large pieces of buckeye and several others to make up for it.
I now am feeling much better that I just unloaded all of this off my shoulders.
 
Everyone wants a knife. What they won't say out loud is they want it for free. The solution is simple: tell them that you are happy to make them a knife.

"Knives cost $x.xx amount and there is a waiting list. Would you like me to add you to the list?"

The other hurdle I had to cross was to get out of the "custom knifemaker" role. Unless you want to make 3 knives a year and go broke doing it, every knife can't be a one-off. There's no payback for a beginner knifemaker doing one-off custom work. Every knife takes three times as long as it should as you struggle to solve problems and learn. If you make 25 of that knife (over time) you can put those hard-earned lessons to good use. You can pay yourself back in time savings.

I don't know if you are charging for your work or not, but if other people want your work you have to charge. It's the only way to moderate your workload unless you are willing to tell people that you don't want to make them a knife.








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Welcome to life, but don't take it too serious. It ain't a permanent condition.
 
Everyone has different circumstances and many of us have different goals and reasons for making knives. I'm semi-retired but, my wife is not and she works 14-hour days. We have a small 10acre farm with horses so, I have most of the domestic and farm related chores. It can be a lot! There are plenty of days that I don't make it to the shop because there is just too much else to be done.

When I do get into the shop, I want to focus on the things that are important to me; I want to make knives. I don't do sheaths because it's not my thing and takes away from my knifemaking time. I don't do handle woods because I know people who do and they stay very busy with that. It is really easy in knifemaking to get going down some path that may not lead where you really want to be. I continually self assess and often have to tell myself "no". It helps a lot if you have a clear vision of where you want to be in 1yr, 3yrs, 10yrs.

Have you considered inviting your daughter into the shop to make a knife with you? Obviously, I don't know the situation but you brought it up. I've found shared shop time to be good quality time and there's nothing like a sense of accomplishment to help with getting your "head on straight". Good luck.

Bob
 
Hang in there man. I think John made a good point, if they want one tell them X amount of $ and put them on a list. I have also learned to say no especially if there is a deadline like a birthday gift or something. Plus I decided to not take orders at this time. Also if your full time job will allow it, here is what I do. I will plan 1 vacation day and use it to stay home and work on knives. Kids still go to daycare and the wife is at work so it's 8 hours of just me in the garage.....makes a huge difference for me.
 
Life can sure get in the way of knife making. I've spent the last two weeks putting in an above ground pool and deck, which still isn't done. I'd sure rather be in the shop tinkering than blistering in the heat, but, that's the way is goes with family. Our oldest moved out on his own almost a year ago and I know how frustrating they can be, you'll just have to suffer through it and hope for the best. Maybe you'll get a few "I told you so" moments someday like I've been getting lately. Hey, Dad's not as stupid as he thought.
 
I have also learned to say no especially if there is a deadline like a birthday gift or something.

Truer words were never spoken. Boy, have I learned that the hard way. I no longer take jobs on a deadline, either. I burned myself doing that, because I refuse to miss deadlines and I refuse to turn out a bad knife. But in both cases, I allowed someone else's problem to become my problem. That's not why I make knives. This is supposed to be fun, and if I can make a few bucks to buy more tools, etc, then that's awesome. All I need from knifemaking is a hobby that pays for itself, and that is surprisingly easy to accomplish. It only has to be stressful if you make it that way. This isn't my day job.

As a hobbyist, it's only fun if working on knives is fun. I don't want to work on knives every single day. Sometimes I actually want to do Dad stuff with the kids. Sometimes I just don't feel like making knives today.

Walt, it's very easy to feel overwhelmed. But whenever I do, it's because I am letting other people control my time, or because I took on too much work (with deadlines that aren't lining up with reality.) It really sounds to me like you are at the point where it's time to take a step back and separate what is really important from what isn't. And by that, I mean what is important TO YOU. Everything on your plate cannot have equal importance, all the time.

If you want to play around with stabilizing wood, then by God, do it. Someone else will have to wait. So be it. If they need a knife today, Walmart is down the street. If they really want a Walt Knife, then Walt Knives are done when they are done, and they cost money because there's only one Walt.
 
Great post John. There is a lot of wisdom there. Bob had a good idea in inviting your daughter into your passion. I've a daughter whom I've always butted heads with. Those problems became smaller when I decided to have our conversations (and no raising voices) away from other family members. That allows saving face for both of us.
For family members I discount my prices but do not work deadlines. Jess
 
Whenever a friend or family member says "I want a knife", I tell them, "I want a seal that barks my name". That tends to put a end to the problem and the conversation ends with a laugh.

As far as teenagers, that's a tough one. Inviting your daughter to join in with your passion is a good suggestion. Even better, find out what her passion is and try to join in with her. Unfortunately, most 16 year old girls passions revolve around boys.
 
For family members I discount my prices but do not work deadlines. Jess

Same here. I also stopped taking deposits. I lost sleep over knife orders and how long it was taking to finish knives when i was sitting on somebody's money.







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John, I am a rookie hobbyist maker and like many do this to relieve stress (using that relieve stress very loosely lol) and create something useful and often our own implementation of a knife. The basic pattern of the knives are the same but there are a few differences for each one which doesnt create any issues other than the color of the spacers.
The teen issue is a bit of a challenge and she does get "shop" time with me a few times a month. I have majority of my work space on the back porch in a little 5x6 square. Lol its a small scale operation.
LRB, Life is only temporary and I try to make the best of what I have.
RangerMade, I would like to be able in the next year be able to be an actual knife maker and produce quality reputable consistent product. 3 yrs am planning to be more of a knifemaker and less of a hobbyist, 10yrs the plan is to be full time maker.
Anthony life is in the way of my hobby but, family is important.
She is getting her head on straighter just way stubborn and gets a bit frazzled and doesn't always wanna talk. No clue where she gets it from?
So basicly gents I needed an outlet that could see where Im coming from because many have been here and gotten past it. Thank you all for the suggestions and the you will make it through this.
 
For family and friends that want a knife, I tell them that if they want to come into my shop and work with me, we can make a knife together that they can have - I remind them that this will entail hours of their time to complete. Most never show up!
 
Steve, thats sad and funny at the same time. Half my family say they dont care when I get it done an the others are there with me and say they will help and end up making their own with my help. Lol
 
glad you had a chance to vent. hope stuff is going better. do you take meds for your ADD? might want to visit doc about dosage and brand. i understand about "sacred wood" holdings, i have been trying not to add to mine, but "free" stuff is too good to turn down(100+year old barn wood, maple and oak) i guess just take a deep breath and relax. the kid will do what she wants no matter what you say, folks will ask for knives right after you tell them about not being able to work on knives due to ________, IMHO it is Higher Power time, turn all the nonsense over to the big boss.
 
Jesse, is kinda crazy how society has changed to you do it for me.
Scott, I was making a joke about the A.D.D. it was just me getting distracted and exhausted. The big guy only gives us what we can handle. Apparently I can handle alot. Lol I got two good days of relax and recenter and I SLEPT. For some reason the body freaks out as does the brain on 9hrs sleep in 2 days. It was a hectic week last week and I slept and now is a new day new week so back on track and frazzle is gone. My daughter is just like me and a stubborn mule to get to talk about feelings. Lol I love her as much as all the others.
 
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Wow I can relate, I don't do orders. I tell people, I make what I like, if you want to purchase one you take what I have period. Then again I don't pay bills with knives. I work 65+ hours a week in a prison I don't have time to do a dick dance with them.
 
The other hurdle I had to cross was to get out of the "custom knifemaker" role. Unless you want to make 3 knives a year and go broke doing it, every knife can't be a one-off. There's no payback for a beginner knifemaker doing one-off custom work. Every knife takes three times as long as it should as you struggle to solve problems and learn. If you make 25 of that knife (over time) you can put those hard-earned lessons to good use. You can pay yourself back in time savings.

Excellent advice. Wish I had thought of it myself a few months back, lol.
 
Nc biker, my 16yr old does have this notion that boys are necessity for existing. Lol she is my female duplicate except she hasn't learned to shrug off the drama bs YET. Shes getting there.
I have a list of friends who want an knife "WHENEVER" I get it done for them no rush were their exact words. Lol I took a day off from stressing over everything and just slept and relaxed and enjoyed my family now, I am focused on what the root issue is.. I like many on here are on a budget and have to wait till a set payday to get things. That was the main issue, I had this an that all mapped out to get and life happened. Lol
This is the bite after 20 days. The stress of 10 days of lost income for my family was the other trigger for this vent.

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The knife issue is life and family before my hobby/passion, have to get known steel and a way to ht in my budget. Since a coffee can forge will cost me a few bucks to build, it will be my have to work while I wait for the fire danger to drop enough to finish, and fire the big forge.
Thank you all for the communication and tips,advice and all around support and kindness this forum has shown me that others still posess.
 
I cringe every time I see that dog bite! I was thinking about using your Instagram pics for a safety topic at work since we have to go into so many backyards and deal with dogs so much. I feel for you, hope you're feeling better and healed soon. If you're making blades with O1 or 1095, I'm pretty comfortable HT'ing those. If you don't mind paying the shipping, send them to me and I'll work them in with a batch of mine. Well, as long as you don't give me any deadlines, I'm slow!
 
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