Communication skills

Les George

Admin - Founding Member
I have read a few posts in the last few weeks that have made me think of this a few times.

A guy I used to work for said that the hardest thing we do as human beings, is communicate.

There is a lot of wisdom in that, but dont tell the old guy that said it. It'll go right to his head! ;)

Anyway...

97% of all human communication is non-verbal. inflection of voice, hand gestures, body language of all kinds play into it. Unfortunately, none of that comes though in the written form. On the forums, it means that for whatever reason, if you can read something harsh and negativity, that is how it's gonna be perceived.

One thing that can be done is put some smiles in there, they can add some of the facial expressions that the written word lacks. 2thumbs

I registered for my first knife forum membership in 1999, I have seen a miss understood joke or comment go wrong MANY times.

I usually re read a post before I submit it, just to try to weed out the things that might go wrong. Even then I dont always get it right!:eek:

Giving advice that is unasked for is another thing that can rub folks the wrong way.

When you say something to someone else remember that potentially hundreds of people can "overhear" your "advice" and the implication that someone is doing something wrong. It's never good to criticize publicly...

I am guilty of violating everyone of these things from time to time. You can call me on it if you like, but PM would be best. I can take it...

Also if the editing software censors you, you are probably wrong and should think about totally removing the offending word. The list of banned words is not extensive.

Just wanted to share these thoughts with you guys, if you have something to say to the topic or discuss, share it!

Does this even make any sense!?
 
I try to talk on the computer as if I was sitting down with you having a beer and chatting. ps... I do most of my communicating on the computer mainly because I am pretty much deaf and even with my hearing aids in, I have trouble understanding more than one person talking at a time. ;) So, yeah, your post makes sense.
 
Les, you touched on some very important points that we should all think about. I don't think anyone deliberately intends to be hurtful in their posts but they can come off that way. My wife and I have a way of handling a situation like this that may work here, also. If I feel as if she has said something insulting to me, I tell her in a nice way that she has hurt my feelings. Then she says, "shut up ya old fool and finish the dishes". Then everything is fine.
 
Great advice Les. I think any and all of us have been guilty of poor internet communication at least once. Heck, I did a post earlier this evening and the original poster sent me a PM thanking me for my post. I went back to re-read my post and felt like a complete and total butthole because in my mind I felt as though my comment made it sound as if the price he had listed was over priced when in fact the price is awesome. The problem is that I spent too much money in the past week with all of my time on the road between my anniversary and my trip to Atlanta and it is just out of budget for me at the moment. Any other time, I would probably have jumped all over it.

Internet communication can be very difficult at times and can very easily turn from good to bad. I can't even begin to count the number of arguements my wife and I have had over misunderstandings through internet communication. During my last deployment, we did 90% of our communicating through e-mail and messenger. As Les said, you can't read body language and voice inflection through type.

Thank you for the post Les. I can sincerely say that I believe this is one of the best topics I've seen addressed on any forum I have taken part in over the years.
 
Thanks Les.I,like you, try to read over everything before I post it.I may read it 3 or 4 times,and there are times I will change the wording an sometimes I will completely delete the entire post.As for similes,I don't use them very often,but it would not be a bad idea,2thumbs and I do plan on using them more often.
I personally can say,I have never taken anything the wrong way.






Well,believe it or not I just deleted an entire paragraph.:unsure:

God bless,Keith
 
Good points, Les. In the dreaded "Real Life" face-to-face about half the folks don't get my sense of humor. On the phone it gets worse. In print its usually all downhill, especially if it is self-effacing humor. People don't see my warm and engaging manner or my brilliance, and think I am an arrogant know-it-all instead of the World's Greatest Teacher! See!? Like that! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

We often miss so much with the written word. People can't tell if you are being playful or snotty. You can think you are hysterical and everyone should get it and have it blow up in your face fast! The amount of typos or misspelling seems indicative of how little proofreading we do, "myselves" included!
 
Very true Les.
I'm still fairly new at this computer stuff and all it took was 1 time to be completely misunderstood in my intent about 4 years ago. Since then I only answer questions when asked and rarely post anything without re-reading it a couple times. Anyone who knows me in real life knows I'm not bashful when trying to convey my message (I deal with "A" types all day long) but I find that hard to do in type without sounding like a total donkey behind.

Rudy
 
I always assume that the intentions here are for the best, but it's something that I struggle with getting across to others.

If i were to type out a good quality well versed and proper post, it takes me quite a long time. I often try to short cut the response and that's where I can have my meanings misconstrued.

I hardly ever "attaboy" others and will more often post with a distinct lean to wards facts.- and that can rub people the wrong way because they assume they are being criticized..

I have trouble with visual distractions and have completely blocked all advertising, smilies, flashing animations and those rotating logos Rock is making now; so I have to get my context from the text.
 
Last edited:
I always assume that the intentions here are for the best, but it's something that I struggle with getting across to others.

If i were to type out a good quality well versed and proper post, it takes me quite a long time. I often try to short cut the response and that's where I can have my meanings misconstrued.

I hardly ever "attaboy" others and will more often post with a distinct lean to wards facts.- and that can rub people the wrong way because they assume they are being criticized..

I have trouble with visual distractions and have completely blocked all advertising, smilies, flashing animations and those rotating logos Rock is making now; so I have to get my context from the text.

I deal with emails all day long and its a common thing that happens all the time. I try and lean towards being polite and sometimes probably over explain myself. I would much rather fall on my sword and look like I'm being too "wordy" and simple than mistakenly offend someone.

Mr Numbers...... I don't see handing out "attaboys" as being the opposite of "facts", and I can see why people are "rubbed the wrong way"..... I think everyone is an expert of their own experience and your experiences may differ greatly from mine. Keeping that in mind, I enjoy reading about other peoples experiences and their techniques, in hopes of learning something new. I especially dig those WIPS with lots of pictures (guess pics being worth a 1000 words is true) I also would hope that if I posted some pics of my work, that someone could find at least one good thing about it. Its tough to convey your thoughts, so I try and read my posts a couple times before posting to make sure it makes sense, and isn't going to be taken the wrong way. Takes a little longer but I think its worth it...........2thumbs
 
Smilies are just a tool... Weather you use them or not is up to you.

However like every tool each of us is responsible for how we use it, don't use it or misuse it.
 
I've only been computer literate,or semi-literate actually,for about 5 years now.
It's been a marketing idea of mine for about 4 years,
that all computer manufacterers have boxes affixed to the side of computers that dispense extra layers of skin:
myself,I have hide like a rhino (usually),
but most folks are so thin-skinned,their ego gets bruised easily.
It surprises me that so many folks still suffer that old knee-jerk reaction
when reading text on-screen,all the while knowing full well that inflection
is often lost in the swirling electronic vortex that is the 'Net.
You folks here,and another forum I belong to,seem to be (pretty much)
the exception.
(thank god)
I love belonging to a Community of kindred spirits!
Long Live the 'Dogs!
 
the internet is informal though sometimes things can go wrong an apology can go a long way in making amends
 
Back
Top