You Know You're Broke When...

James Terrio

Well-Known Member
Sometimes ya gotta laugh to keep from cryin'...

You Know You're Broke When:

1) You can't wait for Friday afternoon; not because it's the end of the workweek, but because you know the electric company doesn't come around to shut off power on the weekends.

1a) You spend the weekend doing all the grinding and drilling you can while the power's still on. You can always polish, finish and assemble with sunlight and elbow-grease.

2) You can't really complain about the low quality of your internet service... because you're "borrowing" it from a neighbor's unsecured wireless network.

3) You decide that toilet paper isn't really that essential after all.

4) You use up all your scrap lumber and handle materials cooking dinner in the BBQ, because your stove is broken.

5) You're seriously considering slapping someone just so you can spend a few days in the County Hotel with hot meals, hot showers and a warm bed.

6) You decide that bargain-bin mac'n'cheese and tuna is sounding pretty good about now.

7) You're unsure if you regret spending all that money on camping equipment last year, or are darn glad you have it now.

8) You've sold all the junk and tools you don't use much and are seriously eyeing up your guitars and knives... how many do you REALLY need, anyway?

9) The zoning guy from the city stops by to let you know it's not actually legal to have a permanent yard sale. You're so depressed you don't even get mad when he reminds you that no one wants your ratty old clothes anyway.

10) Your latest brainstorm is to conserve funds by buying an econo-size jug of generic dishwashing soap for all your cleaning. Who needs laundry detergent, shampoo or toothpaste?

11) You shake out the toaster-crumbs to sprinkle over your hand-picked yard-salad. Mmm, fresh greens and croutons!

12) You ask your kids to bring home scraps from their friends' lunches at school.

13) Warmed-up ketchup packets from McD's - almost the same as tomato soup!

14) There isn't a squirrel, rabbit or raccoon left within a mile of your house. And the neighbors' pets look mighty nervous.

15) You rationalize that although it kinda sucks to not have meat or beer in your diet, at least you're finally losing that "spare tire" you've been dragging around.

16) You sold the real spare tire from your vehicle weeks ago. What the heck, you don't have gas money to drive the thing anyway.

17) You go to communion 3 times a week just for the snacks.

18) Same with AA meetings.

19) You've become the guy who wanders around town with a ratty garbage bag, talking to yourself and looking for aluminum cans.

20) You've worked out a formula to decide how much to spend in the grocery store to make the bounced-check fee seem kind of worth it.

21) Your idea of a stimulus package is a box of government cheese.

22) You're miffed that you spent several dollars/pound stocking up on good steel, yet it's only worth 4-8 cents at the scrap yard.

23) You finally decide to just sleep in the shop and rent out the house.

Sadly, this isn't an email or something I found online, just off the top of my head. Feel free to add to the list :D
 
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Heh, that's no joke. There was a HUGE dead coon in an intersection about a mile from my house the other day. Only reason I didn't snag it was due to traffic. Woulda made a heck of a Dan'l Boone hat!
 
You know times are hard when you pull pver at the first turn around to go back only to find someone beat you to the road kill!

God Bless
Mike
 
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